My King, My Captor
by Windy Rein
Summary: Just a little OOC drabbleficletthingy with Shiro musing over his and Ichigo's life.


**A/N: **Just a little something I made. I've had the first quarter of this on my computer for a while now and finally got it finished. So yeah, umm, I'm actually pretty proud of this but anyways. Read please.

**Warning: ** Might be a little OOC.

Thus, **disclaimer: **I'm not Kubo Tite so I don't own. I disclaim. (this gotta be the lamest disclaimer I've ever read… -sweatdrops- )

Love, you can't be doing this to me. Not tonight. Maybe some other day. Yes, _any_ other day. Tonight I'm too vulnerable. You don't want that, do you? You hate it when I'm vulnerable. It leaves nothing for you to break. You always enjoyed breaking me more than what came after that. You say you love to see me exposed and oh so vulnerable but I think it's only when _you_ are the cause. It might be true. I do not think I would actually know you well enough. You've said you love me but I'm not sure anymore if it's true. Now you wrap your arms around me and I can only drown myself in those strong arms. You say you hate to see me like this but I think you like it. It shows you how I truly am under your control. You could break me now but I wouldn't care. You are the only one for me. Even if you deep inside hate me and just want to kill me. I don't care anymore you're the only one I could ever love. You're the only one who has seen me naked and exposed in all meanings of the word. But there was something inside my mind, inside _our_ mind that kept screaming to me that this was wrong. That you shouldn't be hurting me.

_Lovers don't hurt each other._

I still loved you with all my being. I couldn't stop the shivers when you caressed my skin. I couldn't stop the painful, wrenching feeling that wrapped my heart when I was alone. I couldn't stop myself from worrying over you even if I knew there was nothing that could or would harm you. The shinigami still thought of you as an ally, a powerful one at that but an ally nonetheless. None of the Hollows had the power to challenge you anymore. The fear that reigned their hearts always, now had an incarnation. They now knew what they should be afraid of. But I'm getting off topic here. It was always about you. I thought you would be the one to bring peace to this divided world but I guess I was wrong.

_The Savior sometimes turns dark._

I never really had a family. I thought you would be mine. I know I shouldn't have hoped for that. It's not that you wouldn't consent to it but I would need to threaten you and I would hate myself after that. And you would probably beat me afterwards. You still had the better instincts. You would probably always have them. The thing I still don't understand even after all these years is how you can act so cheerful around your friends and still be so cold on the inside. I had winter storms to look at when you weren't here. I guess it's better than the constant rain I used to have. The only time it wasn't a complete storm was when you were here. I don't know why it was so but I don't really need to know. I can always have my dreams that you liked seeing me and that I brought some warmth to your lonely life. Oh yes, your life. It was horrible nowadays. Your family had died. All of them died in the war. You were the only thing remaining of the once glorious and powerful house of Kurosaki.

_Dreaming is what keeps us alive._

Death was something I didn't want to see anymore. Mostly because you make me watch myself die again and again. You're killing me slowly. It's so ironic. They made a song about it but the song is too kind. It's nothing compared to my pain. It's nothing compared to the pain of having your heart ripped to pieces in front of your eyes again and again. Still I let you do it. I let you hurt me. I don't shield my heart or my soul. I never would be able to. You would only rip even my best defenses to pieces. Yet I still try. I always want to be strong after you've left. I will definetly ignore you the next time you come here. Still I always end up in your arms. Hurting inside.

_I can only drown myself in those strong arms._

**A/N:** So what did ya think, loves? Review please. Onegaisimasu! Oh yeah, if you don't like the title just give me a suggestion and I'll consider it. :)


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